Sapphic slaves to surveys

Tiptoeing through the mire of chauvinism and sex stereotypes is a sticky dirty business. Even when it comes to issues as seemingly innocuous as favourite colour. This is often reflected in the plethora of online questionnaires that profess to reveal my inner self, via my favourite colour, taste in coffee, sandwich choice (it seems like they ask about every appetite rather than sexuality). While not wanting to burst my own shiny bubble, I can at the same time acknowledge that perfection is not to be found in these little pop quizzes. First off, they assume straightness. (I am so gay that when I came out in my teens, people invariably assumed I had something ELSE big to tell them and that was just the premise, so you're a lesbian, yes, AND... that being all I had to say, they then wandered off to do something else far more revelationary).

I digress, another snag is that these do not take mood fluctuations into account, nor do they allow for the faint possibility that the "respondent" may not have an overwhelming, overarching preference (not solely the same-sex one, but also maybe I swing between latte and cappuccino, perhaps this could be allowed for somehow.)

I cannot help but inspect my own navel, or shove my head up another orifice to adopt a colloquial casual yogic stance. If these questionnaires are to be believed then I must have a phenomenally unstable personality. These tools are not reliable (and dependable tools are important.) The same survey on three different days paints three very different individuals. I know this because I sometimes redo the same survey at different times...just to check (this in itself speaks volumes). It ie. the answers, ie. "me" changes every little pop quiz. There are two explanations here that I can find: either they're randomly jumbling up the answers- a kind of shock therapy for obsessive compulsives like moi. That, or someone is sat there trying to convince all recipients that they have a multiple personality disorder. Jung I may not be, and my Sapphic personality may not be mapped out (but if my psyche were Google-Earthed I reckon it'd be somewhere on isle of Lesbos), but said self is definitely in the singular. Of that much, me, myself and I are sure.

If there is one criteria- it could be quite simply this...Are you answering this quiz, mulling over how you would react to meeting a gorilla on the underground or what your name would be if you were a dog? You are therefore a survey slave. As I am, are you also struck by how the 5 personality types in the answer don't quite cover all of the variations in life of people? You are right, the sixth one is always missed off the list- this sixth type isn't listed as they surfed off to watch Angelina Jolie on youtube awhile ago, otherwise living their vicarious virtual life. Of course, I myself am free from such dependence upon surveys to find the real me, I am not addicted to self-labeling and self scrutiny, I know I this for a fact because I just did this excellent survey that reassured me I'm just fine the way I am (oh, and if I was a day of the week I'd be a Friday- good to know.)