Lesbian hair

There exists, if I recall correctly, an old Friends episode in which Chandler is said to have "gay hair". Lesbian-hair is arguably an equally, if not more, distinct phenomenon. Follicular folly has been on the menu in our household recently as my lover decided to change her look and that I was to be the one to do it. Surely one should be able to plead impartiality or conflict of interest in these circumstances.

I am constitutionally, the worst hairdresser/barber imaginable, and I really do assert these things are a matter of constitution. You see, I am somewhat distractable, and not just in the "Is that Angelina Joli on the TV in the background?" kind-of-way. I have spontaneous flights of fancy and am prone to wandering off among the clouds. I am VERY air sign with absolutely no Earth to ground me in all of my planets, Libran with Gemini ascendant...that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. (People say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.) Giving me scissors plus "pay attention darling" ambiguous instructions and a very distracting radio station in the background...does not bode well.

I am still trying to account for why my momentary aberration is permanently recorded on my beloved's head. I readily admit, my other half clearly specified a longish shaggy James Blunt do (British singer, on Ellen last month) and now sports a (very nice may I say) but completely different 1950s James Dean crew-cut. Was this my unresolved subconscious taking over as I entered a clip-clip induced alpha state? James Dean is inexplicably attractive to me, despite my definite Sapphic status. A very straight male Parisian friend once responded to this confession of mine- a sort of fractional "inning"- with, "Everyone fancies James Dean, even I fancy James Dean." I find this consoling and explanatory to an extent: hence I cite it now.

Another explanation is sheer incompetence. My protestations of inadequacy were generously interpreted by my lover to be modesty as I have successfully clipped her locks in the past. However, I can only do the one haircut. Ostensibly because it's the only style within my capability. My lover is well-balanced and remarkably chilled out and is not holding my artistic reinterpretation of her instructions against me, even conceding that although it bears no resemblance to what she asked for, it still looks cool. Barbering is simply not my forté. And me giving her "the snip" makes her no less potent. Although, the debate as to whether I have selective Attention-Deficit-Disorder rages on and ummm...Where was I?